*The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
*Ray's Rule of Precision:
    Measure with a micrometer.  Mark with chalk.  Cut with an ax.
*Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.
*Law of the Perversity of Nature:
    You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
*If you keep anything long enough, you can throw it away.
*Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.
*The squeaky wheel may get the grease, but the chicken that clucks the loudest is the       
    one most likely to show up at the steam fitters' picnic.
*If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
*Others will look to you for stability, so hide when you bite your nails.
*In an organization, each person rises to the level of his own incompetency.
*A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.
*Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labor:
    People are always available for work in the past tense.
*While it may be true that a watched pot never boils, the one you don't keep an eye on    
    can make an awful mess of your stove.
*A lack of leadership is no excuse for inaction.
*Weiler's Law:
    Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
*Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.
*If an item is advertised as "under $50", you can bet it's not $19.95.
*Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today you   
    can do it again tomorrow.
*Two wrongs don't make a right but three lefts do.
*Remember, silly is a state of mind, stupid is a way of life.
*BE ALERT!!!!  (The world needs more lerts ...)
*Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
*Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
*Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way.
*Seleznick's Theory of Holistic Medicine:
    Ice Cream cures all ills.
*Familiarity breeds attempt.
*Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom:
    No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats, approximately one    
    billion Chinese couldn't care less.
*Murphy's Law is recursive.  Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
*No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
*Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
*There are no answers, only cross references.
*For perfect happiness, remember two things:
    (1) Be content with what you've got.
    (2) Be sure you've got plenty.
*Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
*Life is the whim of several billion cells to be you for awhile.
*It may be that your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.
*Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume,    
    humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
*Take the high road, look for the good things, carry some cash and a weapon.